Making The First Move
As many Love Stories readers would know, the jury is out on a conclusive opinion in the light of sexual equality. I happen to think that the best approach is for you to use your head to bring about a meeting on neutral ground, a move which minimises risks of rebuff.
In the lucky chance of mutual friends existing, perhaps they could find a means of bringing you two together without the strategy seeming too obviously matchmaking.
A third party could suggest drinks or a meal out or an outing to which both of you are invited along with others. On the other hand if you wish to ring him yourself I suggest you resist the temptation to propose a solo date in favour of one in the company of friends.
I’m not forgetting that the modern women has every right to assert her preferences and take the initiative. But if you play like one of the boys you must be prepared to take what comes!
What do you think? Let us know your feedback by leaving your comments in the comment box below…
Dealing With Unwelcome Advances
Granted that, in any circumstances, covertly touching up members of the opposite sex is hardly good form, we have to say that many males are liable to take the view that there’s no harm in trying it on. And besides, it is said some women like what is intended, however misguidedly, as flattery of their femininity.
One strategy to recommend to Love Stories readers, whom I hope will have no truck with the above case, is to wait for the noise level of the general conversation at the party to rise to a volume at which a polite remark, while being perfectly audible to the neighbouring nuisance, is likely to be missed by the company.
You may say that a joke is a joke but he has misread the script, or mistaken his quarry, or simply that you are not enjoying the experience. The aim is to keep smiling all the while. If you can manage a put-down joke in language that doesn’t compound the impropriety, well done.
Another means that regrettably works only at a free and easy gathering is to ask if trading places is allowed, and, if so, you would love to move along to be with so and so as you have been longing for a chat.
How To End A Phone Call
How can I end a phone call with a friend who just won’t get off the line, without sounding abrupt? Oddly enough this is quite a test. The secret is to try to avoid giving the caller the impression that he or she is keeping you or that your time is more important than his or hers, yet by the same stroke calling a halt to the phone call.
Escape may lie in bringing the talk round to a topic that is a prelude to saying goodbye. Simply thanking the person for ringing or for relaying a piece of news may do the trick as this has an air of tying up the loose ends of the conversation. An end to the dialogue is then relatively easy to introduce.
Some Love Stories readers have a ploy for dealing with the inconvenience of talkative callers. You could schmooze callers by stating that you really mustn’t keep them any longer or you must let them get back to their busy life. A diplomatic stroke, as it suggests that you are the one who has to forgo the pleasure.
Of the usual standby excuses for ringing off, such as saying you will ring back, or there’s a car waiting or you must go to run an errand, we think that the claims of having to answer a doorbell or the arrival of somebody probably works best.
Prenuptial Agreements – Good Or Bad?
A revised marriage vow, such as ‘for richer or poorer, subject to contract is not as off-the-wall as one might think, as the principle of prenuptial legal agreements is already up and running.
A parental view is expressed in a query from the father of a betrothed daughter. He mentions that his offspring has a nest egg of capital in her own right and is about to marry ‘a good chap but without any visible means of support’. How best might he broach the sensitive topic of a marriage contract that would enable his child to hang on to her capital in the event of the marriage failing?
I suspect that any such move on the part of a parent – no matter how well-intentioned -would run the risk of being misinterpreted. That said, the few options open might be for him to invite his prospective son-in-law to a decent meal and air his concerns tactfully and candidly. He could mention a lifelong wish to protect his daughter financially and (if the facts fitted) that his own precarious funds would preclude any further gestures of support if she were to find herself on her own.
On the other hand, he could counsel the value of a meeting with a legal adviser so that both parties could hear the pros and cons. I suggest with respect that Papa should make himself scarce on this occasion.
All Love Stories readers know that it would be easier if the daughter was open-minded on the proposition. Without her tacit consent to contemplate a discussion I would think there was too much goodwill to be lost in pressing the point. Added to which, my understanding is that the type of contract predicated is dodgy as far as legal enforcement is concerned. Underlying my reservations is that going into marriage without faith in your partner can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Taking Kids To The Movies
Taking a party of young children to the cinema can be a logistical nightmare. However if managed properly, it will be no different from any other treat – and it is always a joy to see young children enjoying themselves, as any Love Stories reader would attest.
If it’s a mixed age group, first satisfy yourself that the youngest and the eldest members stand a chance of having a good time at the movie proposed. It’s worth knowing that seeing a favourite again (and again) may be a positive attraction for the younger set. But the older ones are bound to appreciate a new release – indulged young creatures as many of them are.
Do recognise that kids who come armed with their own pocket money are highly likely to make a beeline for popcorn and soft drinks – literally the breath of movie-going for innumerable customers, irrespective of their generation. But this will leave those without the means at a disadvantage. One generous way round is to offer a basic bounty to each child as part of the party entertainment. If he or she wants to spend it in this way, fine. Don’t forget that buying your own supplies is usually held to be much more fun than having a grown-up doing the ordering.
Then, it’s sound practice for the adult host to ask the youngsters who they would like to sit next to before they file into their seats. Choices of closest companions may be as picky as at a diplomat’s banquet – and for much the same reason, as youngsters tend to have their own pecking order. Remind the group that you can’t guarantee the seating plan, however, as they may have to swap places in the event of finding themselves sitting behind someone whose height obscures the view.
Finally, some firmness regarding the matter of staying put (visits to the loo excepted, obviously) is no bad thing.
